|"Leave The PickUp Community"|
* NOTE: I had originally received a link to this from Pakwatch (at least this was his handle on the forums at venusianarts.com). The original website that was up, holding the following content, was taken down. This being an interesting perspective, I chose to put up here. If Pakwatch, or the author, reads this, please let me know if you'd like to supply the pictures that were lost or make any other changes. Thanks, Mojo.
The Pickup Community's Benefits and Hazards
This page is not selling anything. In fact, it is purposely non-commercial.
I have done thousands of approaches in Los Angeles and Austin and I have learned from Juggler, Savoy, Sinn, Adonis, GoneSavage, and Swinggcat on boot camps or from hanging out. I have also consulted several other instructors in person or over the phone. All of the instructors I just mentioned will almost certainly despise me after they read this page, but the message is important enough that it needs to be written anyway. There are very few men who have the same amount of inside knowledge of the pickup community that I do who are also willing to talk about it publicly. I am free to say more than the average pickup guru because I have no commercial interests in this community and I don't care if pickup gurus end up hating me.
For many devoted followers of the pickup community and most pickup instructors, this page is going to be a very shocking, angering read that will pull the rug out from under many aspects of their pickup-constructed social lives and attachment to pickup as "the pinnacle of self-actualization." While the controversy stirred up by this page may be entertaining to many readers, its primary purpose is to provide men like you a non-commercial alternative to the pickup community that produces results without the need for a perpetual series of approaches, a pickup guru's products, or an expensive boot camp. I do not want to be a pickup guru or a public figure in this community.
In the last two years, criticisms of the pickup community and intolerance with its gurus' exaggerated claims reached a boiling point. Frankly, guys got tired of these people's willingness to say almost anything to build up their mailing lists, sell products, and create a following.
Won't guys always need some commercial coaches to learn from? No. If you read and apply the five articles about pickup on Postmodern Vanguard, which is non-commercial, you will very likely, though not certainly, be able to radically improve your situation without visiting another pickup forum, reading another pickup ebook, or watching another pickup DVD. This is a strong claim, but I have received e-mails from guys indicating that this has taken place. One thing is for sure: it doesn't cost you anything to find out.
I synthesized what I learned from doing thousands of approaches and spending tens of thousands of dollars on pickup material, training, and ebooks. I think that the only gurus who have worked as hard as me are Tyler, DavidD, Jeffy, DJ Fuji, Adonis, and Sinn. I am giving away what I have learned because at the same time the pickup community improves so many men's lives it can also make them forget what they originally wanted to do before they realized that they needed to address their history with women and people in general. What is common is for a guy to stagnate for long periods of time or even get worse than he was before he got deep into pickup material, as exemplified by the forum post below:
Before I got into the community I was with several hot women, and often hooked up with new girls when I went out. After I got into the community I have gradually become worse with women the harder I try. Now, I haven't made out with a women in a half year [...]
But, let's say that you do get what you want, which is lots of sexual selection. This forum post, which I took from theplace.bz, tells you what often happens:
i think i probably do actually get more girls than most pick up instructors..but if i dont get one every time it nearly pisses me off..but thats sedondary..as i said i can get lots of girls..and im not saying that to sound cool..just trying to clarify my problem
Its when i become interested in a girl..or start a relationship..all of a sudden my mood is tied to her..and even if she is being nice im still analysing little things..not purposely..but its like when she is being nice to me i feel good..and if i dont hear from her for a day or so or if any little thing happens i interpret it badly and start feeling awful in my body and my mind is racing..and even when things are going great its still in the back of my mind that ill probably lose her eventually or that she will leave me for someone else of that it will all turn bad etc etc..even when i know its bullshit..and even when i know it doesnt matter either way..its my body getting these awful feelings and my thoughts wont get off the subject and just keep cycling over and over..its like i have no control over my moods and thoughts and they just torture me over and over
That problem happens a lot more than you think. But perhaps equally harmful, the pickup community often puts guys into mutually parasitic relationships with pickup gurus, in which they want to become their new best friend. A few pickup gurus have acknowledged hero worship as a phase, but it's a phase that never needed to get so out of control if pickup instructors had addressed it long ago. One reason few pickup instructors have discussed hero worship as a major problem in the pickup community on their blogs is that they benefit from it. If they allow it to remain "a phase" that guys go through, they never have to talk about it and they can continue to profit from the men who go through that phase. Lately, enough time has passed that men who were once infatuated with The Game are turning against the pickup gurus after realizing how their desperation has been repeatedly exploited.
Do you think you can become one of the pickup gurus' friends some day? Most of them don't trust each other. Maybe you want to become a Lovesystems instructor (as I once wanted to do, when the company was called Mystery Method)? Well, a former instructor has told me that Savoy does not treat his employees fairly and hires many of his instructors on a contract basis so that he doesn't have to pay them benefits. He also apparently requires them to pay for their own travel expenses. Most pickup instructors are poor and frequently miserable, frankly. Jeffy has roommates and he has been running bootcamps for 7 years. On one of his promotional videos for Nine Ball he says in the interview, "am I much happier today than 7 years ago? Not really." That's a pretty powerful indicator that pickup success and broad sexual selection is not necessarily going to bring you the lasting fulfillment that you think it might.
I have talked to enough pickup community guys that I know that you may have an almost violent reaction to having your illusions about the pickup community torn down. When you haven't gotten "successes" in a while, the last thing you want to hear is that your source of potential relief, the beloved pickup community, is to blame for creating new problems for you as it solves others. The story of the pickup community is a story of thousands of men who will "someday" return to their normal lives once they "get this area of life, called women and dating, handled." Some go out 3 nights per week, others lurk on pickup forums and read community gossip for years. I recognized early from talking to several gurus that almost no one actually gets to where they think they want to go. In his July 2009 talk at the 21 Convention, DJ Fuji acknowledged that about 95% of guys get nowhere or just make incremental progress. I assert that there aren't enough quality instructors like DJ Fuji, so I am making efforts to obviate the need for any pickup instructors at all. I may have made some steps toward accomplishing this, but you'll have to e-mail me with your results so that I can refine the articles that are part of this project.
I directly challenged Tyler, Jeffy, and Julian Foxx to pickup contests on a mass e-mail list of pickup gurus in December 2009. Tyler and Jeffy refused to respond to the challenge. Julian Foxx told me to put $5000 in escrow. Pickup contests are lame, but I was trying to prove a point: I can take any of your instructors and I am going to take down all of your businesses by giving away as much as I can for free. Why? I am tired of all of the marketing bullshit, deception, and hero worship in this community and so I am making an attempt to destroy as much of it as I can.
This is not to say that the pickup community has provided no one significant benefits, including me. The lives of many men have changed dramatically and some impressive discoveries about social dynamics have taken place in the last 7 years. But, each man's improvements have usually come at the cost of his opportunities for normalcy. Those men who do approach women regularly often feel trapped inside of "the community" because no other source of advice seems to have any thoughtful answers or produce real results. As you have surely seen, the mainstream media certainly cannot be trusted to deliver anything of value on this topic. Also, approaching club women can become a sort of addiction, as it was for me and currently is for most pickup instructors.
Because the pickup community has been the only apparent alternative to modern society's grossly ineffective advice on how to be a man, men in the pickup community often feel that they must cling to its theories and designate so-called "skilled" pickup artists as authorities on the subject. Once you read this page in full, you may no longer attach so much weight to what those "pickup gurus" say, if you do currently.
You can e-mail me with questions at this address: (Email no longer avaqilable). The requirement for contacting me is that you have first read all five articles about pickup on Postmodern Vanguard. If you have not or you are just plain angry with me because I interrupted your hero worship phase, do not send me an e-mail. I already know that you might get offended by this page and, if you are a pickup guru, you hate me virulently. Also, do not contact me if you are a member of PUAHate, that vicious troll board. I won't respond. (Stay far away from PUAHate. It has some of the biggest, nastiest losers on the internet). For my personal safety, it's probably important to end my pickup contest challenge to the pickup gurus as well.
Once you read all five of those articles, you'll be on your way to leaving the pickup community and living more in alignment with yourself, which can bring you benefits beyond what you originally wanted from pickup. That's the design, anyway.
Until you take active steps to break its concepts from your mind, the following line from The Eagles' song, Hotel California, applies to your relationship to the pickup community: "you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave." Not even Juggler was able to leave the pickup community after he got married. Tyler is still active even though he stated his intention to leave the pickup community over a year and a half ago. AFCAdam is still teaching pickup and he is married. Maybe it's time to acknowledge that we all need to re-examine this situation.
I know the pickup community better than most, so this page is worth reading if you have spent money and effort attempting to implement its strategies and techniques.
The Problem with Pickup Instructors
I have only posted inside information here that I have evaluated to be credible and I have left out what I determined to be gossip. If any pickup guru wants to defend himself or argue against the claims on this page, e-mail me at (Email no longer available) and I will post what you say, anonymously if you request. If you want to provide a video defense, I will post that too. I am not trying to defame people. On the other side, if you have inside information about your pickup company, you can send it anonymously. Make sure that you send some form of verification. I try to avoid posting rumors.
The primary problem with most pickup instructors is their obsession with marketing, image, and persuasion at the expense of their students, who they attempt to subordinate.
David DeAngelo and Manipulative Internet Marketing
Many of us feel a debt to David DeAngelo (Eben Pagan) because his original ebook got us started in the right direction: asserting ourselves as men. Also, Eben is a trailblazer in the self-help industry because much of what he says actually works. His line, "let's just be friends," got me my first girlfriend and I made sure to later pay for the ebook I had found on the internet because it helped me so much, along with a few other products of his that I later bought. Craig's audio interview was tremendously helpful as well. However, Eben sits on a multi-million dollar self-help empire that continues to bully men with sales copy for no reason other than to continue to make money.
Do you think David DeAngelo is squeaky clean? Most guys do. No, his marketing team spends their time devising devious sales copy designed to break down your self-esteem just before it provides you the $297 DVD solution. The video clip below is from a seminar for internet marketers in which Craig Clemens, David DeAngelo's business partner, reads a headline he helped devise for a dating product for women.
Listen in the first several seconds for the gasp of the audience at the shockingly manipulative sales copy headline.
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The following text is from the sales copy from the page for the Double Your Dating product, Becoming Mr. Right. To get you to buy this product, it attempts to convince you that all of your previous product purchases from David DeAngelo are invalid, perhaps harmful, without the updated information in this new product.
Now, the honest truth is that everything I’ve taught you ISN’T “wrong” - but if you meet a Total 10 woman, you hit it off with her, and you KEEP trying to use the techniques I’ve taught you after you’re in a long-term relationship with her, they will begin to backfire.
The things you’ve learned from me will go from being your greatest friend to your greatest enemy.
What? Then it's time for you to mail out free DVD's to your past customers that correct the mistake. That's not how it works, unfortunately, in this community.
Neil Strauss and Manipulative Internet Marketing
Neil Strauss is a central figure in the pickup community because most of its members today would not have found it without his 2005 book, The Game, which also led to the VH1 show, The Pickup Artist. What is admirable about Neil is that he has a history of grounding the pickup community with normalcy when it has a tendency to spin out of control into social robotics.
But, at the same time, Neil uses the same kind of internet marketing strategies that Eben Pagan does to make money. Back in 2006, Neil launched a marketing campaign for his product, Annihilation Method, something he would probably like to forget today. This product launch was one of the most evil in the history of the pickup community because it leveraged Strauss' new reputation through the worn out "scarcity" sales tactic by offering only 375 copies of his $4000 DVD set at Only375.com, a site which is no longer active. Here is one of the lines from his manipulative sales copy:
Yes it's true.
Despite pressure from his publishers, his closest friends, and even a team of high-priced lawyers not to, Neil Strauss has decided to give ONE LAST GIFT of knowledge to you.
And once this knowledge is revealed, Neil Strauss -- arguably the most successful pick-up artist in modern times -- will disappear from the seduction scene... forever.
The product, most guys say who have watched it, was a rehashed and watered-down version of Mystery Method. The number of refunds for Annihilation Method were significant, according to one source. What is really obnoxious is that Neil Strauss worked with the pickup guru Thundercat on that product launch, who cannot attract women much at all according to one reliable source, and has bought women jewelry to keep them. Do you know why no one mentions this? He has huge internet marketing mailing lists and every year compiles a list of the pickup artists he thinks are the best, which is highly inaccurate from my personal experience and influenced by his business relationships. Guess who shows up on his "top pickup artist" list every year? His good business friend Neil Strauss. When I found that out I was pretty shocked and I have wanted to tell guys this for a really long time. Thundercat is full of shit, completely. By the way, Thundercat's ebook, The Art of Approaching, is by far one of the most disappointing purchases I have ever made in the pickup community.
The launch of Stylelife.com in 2007 was just as manipulative as Annihilation Method, with staged "technical errors," "secret videos," and "limited capacity" designed to stir up interest and desperation. The problem exemplified by Stylelife and Annihilation Method that is present throughout the entire pickup community is the tendency of pickup gurus to create cult followings to generate profit and ego boosts. The biggest pickup gurus can do this because they are often assisted by teams of affiliate marketers who put up fake or useless "dating advice" web sites that include paragraphs like the one below to redirect traffic to their affiliate links.
In 2006, Strauss promoted the sale of only 375 exclusive copies of the "Annihilation Method" program to those who arrived first on his website, only375.com. The demand was unprecedented, and cemented his role as not just a seduction guru, but also as seduction MASTER. And every guy who beckoned at his door, was his humble subject.
The video below demonstrates how far over the top Neil Strauss is willing to go to create desperate fans who will buy his products. As you watch Neil discuss what helped him in front of five guys, keep in mind that only 375 guys were supposed to eventually watch this DVD set and Neil later stated that he was annoyed when he found out that the Annihilation Method got pirated.
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This can be an emotionally wrenching video to watch because you can tell that Neil is very likely a cool guy at the same time he participates in pickup guru snobbery.
"Let's Go Sarging Like Mystery and Style!"
Rock Journalists Study (and Often Worship) Image
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About The Game
Eventually you will accept that Neil Strauss is a pathological liar. Despite the claim on the first page of the book that its contents are completely true, some of the characters in The Game are actually composites. For example, Grimble is a mix of Swinggcat and Craig Clemens. Many sections of the book are distortions of what took place, according to one of my former friends. Also, Neil often changed the chronology of what took place for purposes of story-telling. The book is a work of fiction mixed with fact that makes Neil Strauss the hero in a Joseph Campbell-style hero's journey. What's important to note is that Neil Strauss has not earned the role of hero, he just cast himself as one in the book. As Sinn said, "that book should be called 'Neil Strauss is cool and everyone else sucks'." Most of the pickup gurus in this community have really low self-esteem and no self-respect: Neil rips into all of them in The Game except Juggler and Zan. Yet, after the book came out Neil became even more of a superstar in the pickup community among the pickup gurus and students. Those twins that Neil Strauss rated 8's in the book? One pickup guru told me they were 6's at best. (Later you will learn why rating girls based on appearance works against you anyway).
Let's not forget that Neil released the book to look like the Bible, which desperate men across the world eagerly accepted it to be.
There is a painful amount of irony that The Game is so revered by guys in the pickup community as a kind of manual. If you read it again, it's a confession to the Hollywood crowd, a sort of apology by Neil to all of the "normal people" for getting wrapped up in the pickup community with so many people Neil paints as weird.
One of the biggest pickup gurus who was featured in The Game told me that the book was largely an effort by Neil to promote his friends. If you read the book again, Neil says all kinds of ridiculous things like "[Steve Piccus] was giving me superpowers!"
The Inside Story of Mehow, The Pickup Community's Biggest Fraud
It is a well-known fact among pickup gurus that Mehow is a complete fraud. Take any of them aside when no one is looking and ask them. His former instructors DJ Fuji and Kamoflauge, however, are highly skilled, as I have seen both of them in person.
According to one source that is not DJ Fuji, between 2007 and 2009 Mehow regularly lied to his staff about how frequently he got laid. At one point he hadn't gotten laid in months even when he said he did regularly. In 2009, almost all of his staff quit because he failed to pay them, leading to Kamouflage's and DJ Fuji's independence from the company. Mehow also likes to use his lawyers to intimidate people.
You would think that if Mehow weren't "skilled" that this would show up on video and everyone would know, right? No, much of Mehow's videos are heavily edited, apparently. Besides, do you even want to "run game" like he does?
Mehow may be a fraud, but the insults about him being gay need to stop. He simply has unresolved female authority issues, as most guys and instructors in the pickup community do.
Did you know that Sinn knew that Mehow was not producing results but he continued to promote him on his mailing list because he profitted from Mehow's affiliate links? Mystery also admitted that Mehow wasn't skilled, but was heard having said, "well, business is business." You will see that this pattern of unethical behavior permeates the entire pickup community, partly because we all had to teach ourselves how to lie to shallow, selfish club girls.
I didn't ask if any of the girls on the product cover below were hired, but maybe you should watch the "infield footage" of Mehow that I posted beneath it and see if that seems likely.
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When I watch the video below I just get really annoyed. Do you really think that acting like this is going to get you the long-term respect of women? It's fucking weird. Now, many guys including myself have gone through weird stages in which we had to try new things out, but no one should be selling products showing that as a model.
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For real and not joking, here is one of Mehow's lines that didn't make it into his products: "You are so sassy! I am going to take you home, put you in a blender, and make sassy juice out of you!" According to one of his former staff, he wanted to teach guys that line until persuaded otherwise!
The Market Leader: Lovesystems/Mystery Method Corporation
Lovesystems was once called Mystery Method until Mystery, Lovedrop, and Matador left the company over some kind of dispute with Savoy in the fall of 2006. That situation is difficult to assess and I have nothing to say about it.
However, Savoy sometimes comes off as downright deviant and sociopathic. I trained with him one-on-one in April 2007 and the man can be cold as ice. It's not clear who he really cares about, but he often does try to be fair in small ways. On business issues, however, Savoy is a shark. He has an MBA from the prestigious Wharton School of Business and has amassed wealth from previous businesses.
I got the sense that Savoy wanted to pay people as little as possible to get what he wanted in business. To be fair, I wrote the HTML for the sales page for Magic Bullets and he said, "just tell me how many hours you worked and I'll pay you." He wanted to hire me at one point as a web developer, but said he could only pay me $30,000, which is a joke in Los Angeles for that field. I paid $900/month to live with a roommate in Los Angeles and the city is expensive. I want to protect Savoy's privacy, but I will say this: his living conditions are not spartan and his office is on Sunset boulevard in Los Angeles.
Will anyone trust me after the publication of this web page? Probably if they can see that I am only pointing out serious patterns of unethical behavior in these individuals who hundreds of thousands of men effectively view as their role models. I make attempts to be fair and point out what these pickup gurus have done right. Unfortunately, that is often overshadowed by their history of deceit.
I think AFCAdam would like me to say the following: he told me in person at a lair meeting that Savoy called him up and asked if he would train him, but also said that if AFCAdam told anyone he would ruin him. I normally don't reveal my sources, but it seemed really obvious to me that AFCAdam wanted me to tell someone that and that he was worried about backlash from Savoy, who runs the biggest pickup company in the community. (I like AFCAdam, actually, I just think he improved so quickly in "the game" that he doesn't yet know how to address the issues of guys who come from a tough place like Tyler, Jeffy, or me did. Like Neil Strauss, he really tries to remind guys that there is a place for normalcy and that pickup theory can distort your view of social life. What was a bit annoying about Adam, though, is that he he often filled you with bullshit positive emotions and he seemed to think he knew better than everyone else ).
I paid Savoy $1600 for one-on-one instruction (originally $1900, but $300 was knocked off because I wrote the HTML for his Magic Bullets launch page) and he disappointed me greatly. The reason I decided to train with him and not Sinn was that he really encouraged me on a Mystery Method boot camp two months earlier and I hadn't heard any encouragement from anyone at that point, especially Swinggcat, who constantly tried to tear me down and would purposely tell me that he didn't invite me to his parties when we hung out. At the same time, Swinggcat did help me out a lot, so it's a really mixed situation.
Savoy had unfair expectations on me because I had demonstrated excellent flash game on the boot camp. When I didn't "perform" as well as I did before, he dismissed me entirely. Savoy begrudgingly acknowledged that the training wasn't very good by saying that he would take me out for a few hours another night. When I e-mailed him later and said that I didn't "perform" well because I was nervous to be around the CEO of Mystery Method he replied, "oh, this is good information. I'll screen for that in the future." Pretty fucking unbelievable.
When we were scheduled to hang out for a few hours about 8 months later to make up for Savoy's lack of teaching, he made other plans at the last minute because I didn't call him back within an hour or two. I'm not a big fan of Savoy.
When I signed up for the boot camp two months before the private training with Savoy, the Mystery Method web site said that there were 8 slots or less left on all of the cities, including Los Angeles, where I took it. I showed up to the seminar, however, and there were 19 guys and 3 instructors, plus assistants! I thought, "ok, how are we going to do the nighttime section?" Guess what: Savoy brought all 19 guys into the Saddle Ranch the first night, then paid off the bouncer at an exclusive club with bottle service the next night. It was chaos. This is why I really respect RSD for having kept their boot camp ratios low. If they didn't have a non-compete contract, which I'll discuss later, I would have taken a boot camp from them instead. Plus, I figured that since Tyler learned from Mystery it would make sense to go to the source. When I took my boot camp, however, I found out that only a few months had passed since Mystery, Lovedrop, and Matador had left the company to form Venusian Arts.
Three years later, Savoy still lists 8 slots or less for each city on his boot camps. I recently took a screenshot of the Lovesystems boot camp page:
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I did learn a lot from Sinn on that 2007 boot camp and even though I saw him take his anger out on students when they did nothing wrong and I don't like his past marketing practices, the guy really knew his stuff and wasn't afraid to move beyond some of Mystery's more dogmatic or questionable ideas.
Almost All Pickup Instructors Try to Make You Their Fans, Especially from Real Social Dynamics
Real Social Dynamics has a history of producing quality products and seminars and was probably the first to emphasize quality production values and graphic design. The Blueprint Decoded is one serious product and even though I have a strong distaste for the RSD team and Tyler regarding their arrogance and how they treat their customers as inferior, I have to give respect to this work. However, after you finish watching it you think, "what did I just watch, anyway? what am I supposed to do again? faculties and pinging or something?" I think the effects of that product can be significant, but they don't express themselves immediately or obviously, which may be why it has received such a mixed response. I have thrown out all of my pickup products and that's the only one I would watch again. I really admire Jeffy for his grit and how he is willing to display negative emotions when the rest of RSD insists on being "unreactive." Tyler was one of the few pickup gurus to emphasize hard work and consistency and he has been the strongest influence on me in the pickup community. Many sections of the articles about pickup on Postmodern Vanguard reference things he has said. I admire him at the same time I hate him. (Yes, I know that I look like him).
The problem is, RSD is the North Korea of pickup companies and does not respond well to criticism. I think this may have something to do with scars from The Game, a book that would traumatize anyone it was so brutal on Tyler, as Neil's vicious exposure of his personal wounds to the public would lead most people to suicide after closing the book, no question. That he recovered from that is one of the most incredible achievements of the pickup community, as reading an exposure of your some of your deepest insecurities tied to a defamation of your character could easily lead someone to suicide. If you haven't felt public pressure before, you don't understand. Pressure of that type and on that scale and magnitude, with constant attacks by internet trolls on Tyler after the book's publication makes me very empathetic of RSD and where they are coming from. (I know a little about pressure, putting this page up). Please keep all of this in mind as you read the section below, as I think RSD has the best intentions of any company in the pickup community.
Dissent is not allowed at RSD and no one really knows what goes on behind the scenes at that secretive company. Names of outside pickup instructors, such as Mystery, are automatically censored by the RSDNation forum software. Threads that question Eckhart Tolle, RSD's favorite spiritual leader, get "locked" by moderators. RSD instructors have traditionally hidden from the rest of the pickup community and few of the big pickup guru names know members of the RSD team very well unless they have a history with them that goes back before The Game came out. RSD also has a tendency to operate like a commercial cult by telling followers that they can do everything that RSD instructors do, but also that RSD instructors are one of a kind.
Instructor bios on most web sites of pickup companies are often inflated, often involving manic descriptions of travels to multiple countries and the acquisition of an array of flashy, unrelated skills. Each company's message that any man can learn the skills they teach is contradicted by the absurd accomplishments the instructors allow to represent them, which most men cannot relate to. If any man can learn their skills, why do the instructors have to have to detail their accomplishments? Why don't their student testimonials speak for them?
Nathan, an RSD instructor, is perhaps the worst offender when it comes to biographical exaggeration. Below is an excerpt from one of his articles on RSDNation, intended to build up his cult of personality and that of the RSD team.
Here's just a few other crazy things that's possible in reality: I'm also a decorated war veteran, been recognized on national TV, was adopted Chinese (I'm white), dated Playboy, Hawaiian Tropic, and Budweiser models, have been kidnapped, worked for the US Embassy in Central America actively fighting Colombian drug traffickers, modeled, was a top ranked wrestler, helped write porn scripts for a friend in Budapest, started businesses, saved a man's life, am an expert pistol shot, cliff dove in 2 countries, managed over $300 million dollars, played stickball in Brooklyn, hang glided over Brazilian rain forest, written my own TV show, graduated from a #1 ranked program in the world, hiked mountains, dealt drugs (long time ago), ATTACKED BY A GANG OF WILD MONKEYS, lived on a boat for 3 years, partied for Carnival in Rio, Venice, and New Orleans, been arrested and put in jail (a couple times), been close to 30 countries (lived in 4), am fluent in renaissance art, broken too many bones to remember, speak parts of 5 languages, was actually kicked out of a country once and made to fly home (not my fault), was almost a father and engaged, ran a black market, had sex in 2000 year old plazas where saints were once burned on a stake, thoroughly well read in classical and contemporary literature, met, partied and am friends with famous Spanish bullfighters, been questioned by the CIA, taught at a renowned university, stowed away on a train once out of desperation, camped in complete wilderness, traveled to East Germany while under Soviet Union's control (it was as crazy and depressing as the movies portray it), ran with the bulls in Pamplona, been part of a pit crew in the mexican Baja 500 twice, been courted by the Russian Mafia (long story), won ski races in the Alps, promoted parties, and also kicked the tree of life. I just turned 30 and have been completely independent since I was 18. Funny thing is, is that I need my friends to really remember some of the crazy shit that's gone on. I guess the only thing left is to own a monkey, be in a heist, and get shot. Seriously, these are my goals for the next 5-20 years... climb a mountain, write a couple books, start a philanthropic organization, motorcycle around S. America, go on safari, visit the north pole (before it's gone), buy a home in Europe and in the great state of Texas, get married and have kids, and finally put an end to the and hunt down the Loch Ness monster. Anything's possible when you're living your own legend. What's yours?
Nathan is egotistical, there is little dispute. Let's address Alex, one of RSD's star instructors. Here is an excerpt from one of his blog posts:
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Alex's ego is talking about himself being "one of them" (RSD instructors), the missing piece to Tyler's life.
The RSD toadies posted comments like this in response:
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In addition to stirring up emotions of loyalty in their desperate followers, Real Social Dynamics communicates a dual message: "you can do what we do, but you'll never be one of us and so you can never actually do what we do. but try and we might accept you." Consequently, men with low self-esteem cling to the content they produce in the hopes of getting their approval. To illustrate, Nathan, in a rare uncensored moment, lays down how it really is:
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But that's not what the Real Social Dynamics FAQ says:
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What does "becoming an executive coach" (which you cannot feasibly do, Nathan said) have to do with learning from RSD? How about: "RSD's students reconnect with themselves, allowing them to lead fulfilling lives by teaching the values that RSD carries."
I have a suspicion based on my own challenges in the past several years that Tyler hired Alex and Brad because they are naturals, mostly so that he could figure out what they were doing, not so much that they were quality instructors. If so, that's forgivable, I think.
The Predatory Non-compete Contract of Real Social Dynamics
There is evidence that RSD instructors genuinely want their clients to improve their lives, but they also view them as desperate and inherently inferior. This is clear by how they treat their seminar attendees as military cadets ("stand up and yell that your game is a 10!").
RSD springs a non-compete contract on their attendees at the last minute, just before entry. If you don't want to sign their contract, too bad, they say. No boot camp or seminar for you, no matter how far you traveled. RSD doesn't notify you of this contract ahead of time either. Though probably unenforceable legally, this contract is is clearly an attempt to exploit the desperation of their customers; no confident man would sign the following contract just to get some pickup information:
I do and will not own, operate or work for a company or internet website that teaches men how to be successful with women and dating, for 4 years after attending the program, in Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco, Sydney, Melbourne, Toronto, Montreal, and London. I will forfeit to Real Social Dynamics any revenue earned from operating or working for a company or internet website that teaches men how to be successful with women and dating during the 4 year period, and I am still obligated to keep all trade secrets confidential.
In the event that you violate any of the above terms, you agree to pay Real Social Dynamics the sum of $10,000.00 as liquidated damages. You further agree that all payments made to Real Social Dynamics are forfeited and not subject to refund. All other payments made by you to Real Social Dynamics irrespective of what those payments were to be applied to are also subject to forfeiture. Real Social Dynamics hereby reserves any and all legal rights and remedies available to it.
After I made a thread on RSDNation (their online forum) about the fact that Tyler learned from tens of pickup instructors before he started RSD, none of whom made him sign non-compete contracts, the RSD toadies defended their ability to be legally constrained by their favorite pickup company with arguments about the free market and intellectual property:
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Finally, Tyler provided his supposed rationale, before a moderator locked the thread:
It's a deterrent, to prevent what used to happen every single workshop, which was that the local POOOAH [pua -> pick up artist ] businesses would come into the venue and start secretly handing out their cards, gathering client emails, etc.Tyler
So make an announcement ahead of time and kick them out if they don't like it. What does a non-compete contract have to do with that?
Club Girls Often Don't Care about You Even When They're Attracted
Below is an image of "Starlight," a pickup instructor who works for Lovesystems. Notice in the picture below that none of the girls are paying any attention to him. Instead, they are concerned with how they look for the camera. Each girl is making a celebrity-like pose for the viewer. You could cut him out of the picture and no one would notice.
(Pic no longer available)The pickup instructor in this photo is an afterthought in these girls' minds. This is what most club girls are like. Often they are not interested in you even if they are attracted to you. Usually they are just interested in posing for the camera and looking popular in front of other girls in the club to boost their egoic confidence. It is a phase in their lives and most grow tired of it by the age of 23. But, this prima donna pattern of behavior persists until a life situation forces them to discard it. Even then, some of them will cling to their old self. The women in this photograph are visually attractive, for sure. But they have constructed a highly sophisticated image to deceive you into thinking that having them will bring you long-term happiness. In reality, most of them are nervous wrecks. Marry any of these women and you are signing up for years of psychological games.
This photo should illustrate to you that fucking the hottest "10" in the club using the pickup strategies of 2009 is not satisfying in the way you think it is. It requires constant submission of yourself to the girl because you have resigned your sexuality as a man by using pickup strategy. As you will read in the five articles about pickup from Postmodern Vanguard, you are programming yourself to perceive yourself as below club girls by using strategies to manipulate their egos and appease their exhausting logistical anxieties. These types of girls, who don't represent all women, don't just want you to lead (a healthy trait in a man), they want you to make it feel like the pickup isn't even happening, which goes beyond what you should be required to do.
The Problem with Pickup Company Testimonials
Most pickup company testimonials have a suspicious pattern: they are recorded immediately after the high of the seminar or boot camp and not 6 months later, when progress can be measured. One issue, however, is that many pickup guys are lazy, so this isn't necessarily the pickup instructors' fault.
Pickup Instructors Who Respect Their Clients
If you require coaching, contact
I like Adonis and I met a guy who got dramatic results after working with him, but since he uses a very traditional pickup approach, I don't refer guys to him. Still, see if what he does works for you.
Again, my goal is to make it so no pickup community guy needs coaching. So help me do this by e-mailing me with issues after you have read the five articles about pickup from Postmodern Vanguard.
The Non-Commercial Alternative: Postmodern Vanguard
Five articles that can provide you a new perspective on pickup:
You can leave pickup because its theories are almost completely cultural, not biological.
The pickup community is distinctly Western and makes no sense in non-Western and South American countries. Also, its theories apply to urban environments far more than rural ones because that's where they were developed.
The following countries have generally remained dark regarding the pickup community:
In China, for example, approaching strangers is unusual. That's a disadvantage for the Chinese, but it illustrates how pickup is not universally accepted, as enough time has passed that the Internet likely would have spread its ideas further across the world, particularly since most of the world is increasingly influenced by Western culture through globalization.
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The pickup community was a cultural response to large-scale oppression by Western women, which is angering once you see how political correctness has obscured this from all of us. Evolutionary psychology is the unconscious projection of resentment toward U.S. women and currently has no scientific methods to prove its hypotheses.
The sooner you accept this, the better.